Kareer Woman

NOVA ERA - "Classical Music with a Groove"

2010-10-28T03:11:00.004-04:00

Based in Orlando, Florida, Nova Era is breathing new life into classical music with a modern approach. "Classical Music with a Groove."

NOVA ERA - "Classical Music with a Groove"

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Hear the words “classical music” and what comes to mind? Somber images of suits and symphony halls, or perhaps your grandparents’ old long-playing phonograph records? If you think a classical performance is too formal or dull, then you owe it to yourself to check out Nova Era.

Based in Orlando, Nova Era is breathing new life into classical music with a modern approach. Much more than an attempt at Mozart: Plugged-In, Nova Era’s updated arrangements bring out the timeless appeal of classics such as Vivaldi’s Four Seasons and Pachelbel’s Canon.

Nova Era is something special. It reaches across generations and musical tastes. So, whether you love classical music, or prefer hip hop, jazz or rock ‘n’ roll, you will enjoy the music, beauty and talent of Nova Era.

Nova Era performs in handcrafted 18th century costumes, and ornate, powdered wigs. This beautiful touch lends an authenticity which lifts the music to a higher level. At first glance, you might think you are attending an 18th century concert -- that is, until you see the electric instruments, taking a giant leap into the 21st century.This visual combination of old and new perfectly reflects the music of Nova Era. Nova Era takes classical music out of its isolated arena, giving it a warm and exciting edge that everyone can enjoy.

Popular demand for Nova Era has the band performing around the U.S. and Europe. Previous engagements include performances in Venice, Paris, The Palace at Versailles, Dubai UAE, Hawaii, Grand Cayman, Las Vegas and NYC just to name a few.. In partnership with the QVC network, Nova Era has performed frequently on television as well.

All of the musicians have been featured with major Symphony Orchestras both abroad and in the U.S.

A little warning: Once Nova Era grabs your heart, it won’t let go!

Nova Era was Founded in 1999 by Producer/Composer Andres Roca and Oboist Maria Luisa Coppelli.

Is it Hot in Here?!

2010-09-09T17:13:00.003-04:00

I've not been on here in quite some time. I guess with all of life's craziness, things just got away from me, but I'm sure I'm not alone in that! So a quick post to let you know I've not fallen off the face of the earth...AND...figured everyone could use an extra smile in your day, so check out the latest on Maxine!

Turn on 911 Locator on cell...

2010-04-21T23:27:00.003-04:00

There are certain types of cell phones that the owner has to physically turn the 911 locator on and others that are automatically set when you purchase them. Many people assume that the 911 locator has already been turned on for you and that's not always the case.

Without the 911 locator turned on, 911 would never be able to "ping" your phone in an emergency sitaution to locate you or your phone.

This information could save a life, so please just take a few seconds to go into your cell options and make certain your 911 locator is turned on, have your kids, your siblings, your friends, whoever take a few seconds to check theirs, and please pass this along. You never know how many lives this simple message can save.

BE PROACTIVE & BE SAFE!!

Yeah, it's a Monday

2010-01-31T23:21:00.002-05:00

...but, I'm looking forward to it, Monday that it.

Not that this means much to anyone on here, however I'm absolutely loving life and am so very fortunate by the strong and extraordinary people that surround me, not sure how I got so lucky, but thanks guys, you all ROCK!!

Maxine

2010-01-19T22:42:00.001-05:00

LOL

2010-01-10T22:02:00.003-05:00

It's always fun to get the week started off right with a smile and good laugh. Have a fabulous week!!

Peanut Butter Bon Bons

2009-12-14T18:49:00.003-05:00

1 1/2 Cups of Powdered Sugar

1 Cup of Graham Cracker crumbs

1/2 Cup of Butter or Margarine

1/2 Cup of Peanut Butter

6-12 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix powdered sugar and graham cracker crumbs together.
heat butter and peanut butter until melted.
Stir melted butter and peanut butter of crumb mixture. Roll into 1" balls.
Heat chocolate chips, with one Tablespoon of shortening (if desired)
Dip balls into melted chocolate with tongs until coated.

Refrigerate until firm.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T13:08:00.001-05:00

Life Boils Down to Two Questions:

2009-10-30T14:11:00.004-04:00

LIFE REALLY BOILS DOWN TO JUST TWO QUESTIONS:

1.) Should I get a dog...?

2. Should I have children...??

No matter what situation life throws at you...

No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem...

Remember, there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

The Difference Between STRENGTH and COURAGE

2009-10-21T17:54:00.001-04:00

It takes strength to be firm
It takes courage to be gentle
It takes strength to stand guard
It takes courage to let down your guard
It takes strength to conquer
It takes courage to surrender
It takes strength to be certain
It takes courage to have doubt
It takes strength to fit in
It takes courage to stand out
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain
It takes courage to feel your own pain
It takes strength to hide feelings
It takes courage to show them
It takes strength to endure abuse
It takes courage to stop it
It takes strength to stand alone
It takes courage to lean on another
It takes strength to love
It takes courage to be loved
It takes strength to survive
It takes courage to live

My Life

2009-10-02T17:59:00.001-04:00

I saw this quote on a friend's blog and liked it.

“For a long time it had seemed to me
that life was about to begin - real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way.
Something to be got through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

~Fr. Alfred D'Souza

Disney World's Glowtini Recipe/Coco Cabana Cocktail Recipe

2009-09-28T01:22:00.005-04:00

Glowtini Recipe:

1 oz Citrus Vodka
0.5 oz Blue Caracao
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Splash sour mix and a splash pineapple juice
1 Glow Cube

Regarding "Glow Cube" http://glowingicecube.com/
Glow Cubes are also at Party City (or other party stores) locally.

Coco Cabana Cocktail Recipe: (From Disney World's Pleasure Island.)

1 oz coconut rum
½ ounce banana liqueur
½ ounce melon liqueur, such as Midori
4 oz. pineapple juice
Splash Grenadine
Splash club soda

Mix first 5 ingredients in a shaker with ice or tall glass.
Top with a splash of club soda or sparkling water.

ENJOY!

IMPORTANT!

2009-09-21T00:35:00.003-04:00

I received the below forward this evening and thought it important enough to post, please pass it along. These are things I never thought about, WOW!

GPS

A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard.

When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.

The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.

Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen.

MOBILE PHONES
I never thought of this.......

This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet... Etc...was stolen.

20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'

When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.

Moral of the lesson:

Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list.

Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc....

And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON
I never thought about the above!
As of now, I no longer have 'home' listed on my cell phone.

Sliders with Chipotle Mayonnaise

2009-09-03T19:17:00.002-04:00

Ingredients:

Chipotle Mayonnaise:
1 cup mayonnaise
2 chipotles in adobo sauce
1 tablespoon adobo sauce
1/2 lime, juice
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Sliders:
1 to 1 1/2 pounds ground chuck, 80/20
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Cheese slices, your choice
Mini burger buns

Burger Bar (if desired):
Chipotle Mayonnaise
Pickles
Red onion slices

Chipotle Mayonnaise:
Directions
Add all the ingredients to a food processor and puree. Season, to taste, with salt and pepper.

Sliders:
Preheat grill over medium-high heat.
Form the meat into 2 to 3-ounce portions, packed tightly. Season with salt and pepper.
Place the sliders on the grill. Wait until they are nice and crusty on the first side, about 4 to 5 minutes and then flip and cook another 4 minutes. When the sliders are about done, top with desired cheese and close the grill, allowing the cheese to melt.
Place the slider on mini burger buns and top with chipotle mayonnaise and any other desired toppings.

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

2009-08-25T01:02:00.000-04:00

English is a Difficult Language

2009-08-23T15:28:00.000-04:00

The Zen of Sarcasm

2009-08-12T10:28:00.002-04:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

AND

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

HR Lingo Decoder

2009-08-02T00:49:00.001-04:00

COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Dog Logic

2009-07-13T11:20:00.000-04:00

Cities with the most single men and women

2009-06-13T20:01:00.001-04:00

US census issued a map of the cities with the most single men and women:

Ways To Annoy People Next To You On A Flight

2009-06-10T14:29:00.002-04:00

Find common interests.

Ask, "Are you in the Witness Protection program too?"

Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out-of-order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile.

Call the stewardess "nurse".

Sport a kamikaze helmet and goggles. Speak in a low voice into a hand held tape recorder: "Today's date, December 7th, 1941. I was not able to command my own personal plane but success shall still be ours...."

Yell out, "John Lithgow is on the wing!"

Speak in Spelling Bee-eese: "Hello. H-e-l-l-o.Hello. Nice weather we're having isn't it? Weather. W-e-a-t-h-e-r. Weather."

Start singing the Shari Lewis theme, "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends...." Suddenly realize that you can never stop singing. Become very panicky. Scrawl "Help me" on a piece of paper and hand it to the person sitting next to you. Claw at your throat and thrash around in the seat. Never stop singing.

Continually offer to share your "Beano".

Decorate. Bring a scatter rug and tiny draperies. Hang a "Home Sweet Home" plaque on the back of the seat in front of you. Invite your fellow passengers in for tea.

Suddenly remember that you left your iron on. Ask if the pilot would mind going back so you can check.

Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Wait. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!"

Plug the headphones into your nostril and play DOOM.

Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a "Kraft Korner". Make a craft likeness of the person sitting next to you. Give yourself an "F".

Say, "Did you know every time a plane crashes, an angel gets its wings?" Then sigh and stare dreamily into the clouds.

Snap Polaroids of him or her. Pull out an empty photo album and arrange the pictures inside it. Tuck the album under your jacket and say, "You know, in some cultures they believe that when you take a person's photograph...you own their soul...," while smiling maniacally.

Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, "The reception is much clearer up here...."

Speak in an incredibly fake Australian accent. Call the person "mate". Tell them you're not used to seeing the sky, since you are from "Down Under". Keep repeating quotes from "Crocodile Dundee," such as "That's not a knife! That's a knife!", until they are forced to yell at you that you are not Australian. Call them prejudiced.

Bring a "Word-a-Day" calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. "My, you have a very irate home,' she said governessly."

Lean back in your seat, fold your arms behind your head and exclaim, "Thank God for auto-pilot, eh?"

Top 10 Things Men Know About Women

2009-06-09T02:14:00.000-04:00

10:

9:

8:

7:

6:

5:

4:

3:

2:

1:

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

2009-06-05T23:52:00.000-04:00

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND ...

2009-06-02T19:41:00.002-04:00

I couldn't resist posting this, it was forwarded from a good friend of mine the other day. I hope it brings as much hysterical laughter to you as it did to me & many others!!

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis School District.
Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33..

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21.. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Office Jokes

2009-05-27T17:13:00.007-04:00

Letters Of Recommendation

Have to write a letters of recommendation for that fired employee?

Here are a few suggested phrases:

For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."

"It seemed her career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:

"I feel his real talent is wasted here."

"We generally found him loaded with work to do."

"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

For an employee with no ambition:

"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."

"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:

"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:

"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."

"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

For a stupid employee:

"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."

"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."

For a dishonest employee:

"Her true ability was deceiving."

"He's an unbelievable worker."

A Very Puzzled Blonde

2009-05-26T00:29:00.002-04:00

John gets a distressed phone call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.

"I've got a problem," says Buffy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.

"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him by saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.

John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For heaven's sake, Buffy, put the cornflakes back in the box."

LOL :)

2009-05-16T19:21:00.001-04:00

To be CRAZY or not CRAZY that is the Question - lol

2009-05-13T22:22:00.001-04:00

Up for a Good Laugh?

2009-05-11T14:16:00.003-04:00

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Keep reading-they get better!!!

WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each others likes and dislikes.'
He addressed the man,
'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she..
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain..
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

She's '40!'

2009-05-01T13:16:00.003-04:00

I know, this is a little late, but better late than never, right?

I love being involved in a surprise and a good friend of mine was turning '40!' Now, if turning '40' doesn't call for a good surprise, I don't know what does!

Anyway, through fun planning with her two sisters, one being in California, and one being in Illinois, and also planning with her awesome hubby, the surprise was pulled off and it was mission accomplished. I think we can call that, "The scream heard round Batavia!" lol

Another link about the surprise:

http://thesavvycybermama.blogspot.com/2009/04/suprise-for-sister.html

Value Already Yours

2009-04-18T22:21:00.000-04:00

When you take something for granted, you can quickly forget that it's even there. If you take it for granted long enough, it may in fact be gone the next time you look for it.
Why is gratitude so very powerful? Because it keeps you connected to all the good things in your life.

Don't let the immense value that's already yours wander away because of neglect. Take time to remember, take time to celebrate and be grateful, and take time to say thank you.
Instead of continually wishing for more, take a loving and thankful look at all that you already have. By sincerely appreciating what's already yours, you can build upon it to reach any dream you could possibly imagine.

Make it a habit to reflect each day on how truly fortunate you are. It is your awareness that enables your richest blessings to continue unfolding and expanding throughout your world.
See the beauty that's already there, and the value that's already yours. It is more than enough to propel you positively and meaningfully forward.

Priceless Friendships

2009-04-15T23:28:00.002-04:00

I came across one of the coolest & truest poems this evening that I hope each of you reading this has been able to experience with someone. If not, that's my wish for you.

Personally, I've been beyond blessed with the people who have surrounded me in life, and as I get older, the friends just seem to get better and better! We've all been through the tough transitional friendships and even the very hurtful ones that we may never understand, but somewhere in our hearts, we know that each one of them had a purpose. Those would be the friends qualified as 'they' say are for a time and season, but it's those friendships we deem priceless gifts that we are so truly fortunate to treasure for a lifetime! When we have those few and far between, rare gems in our lives, sometimes it's only 1 or 2 per lifetime, there's no question, we know it, don't ever take that for granted!!

Friendship is a priceless gift

that cannot be bought or sold,

but it's value is far greater

than mountains made of gold.

For gold is cold and lifeless,

it can neither see nor hear

and in times of trouble

it is powerless to cheer.

It has no ears to listen

nor the heart to understand,

It cannot bring you comfort

or lend a helping hand.

So when you ask

God for a gift

be thankful if he sends not

diamonds, pearls or riches...

But the love of true friends.

It's Friday!

2009-03-27T00:59:00.002-04:00

I always give 100% at work:

13% Monday
22% Tuesday
26% Wednesday
35% Thursday
4% Friday

Smile, it's Friday!!

Male & Female Prayers

2009-03-17T10:37:00.002-04:00

FEMALE PRAYER:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks,
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man, who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend.
And as I pray beside my bed,
I look at the clown you sent me instead.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store.
Amen.

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

2009-03-14T23:18:00.001-04:00

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

It's a Maxine Day

2009-03-08T19:02:00.000-04:00

God Loves Blondes Too

2009-03-04T16:41:00.002-05:00

A blond finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... 'God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.

'Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... 'My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house and my car.

I don't often ask You for help and I've always been a good servant to You.

PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order.

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.

The blond is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....'Sweetheart, work with Me on this..... Buy a ticket.'

Divorce Vs. Murder

2009-03-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

The Christmas Party

2009-02-27T09:11:00.002-05:00

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party.

He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!

Love, Jillian. '

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son... what happened last night?

''Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.

You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

'Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?

I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??

'His son replies, 'Oh THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!!'

'Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $5.00

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing at the right time....PRICELESS!

A Good Friend or a Best Friend!

2009-02-26T01:20:00.002-05:00

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend will ask you why you are crying. A best friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry.

A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

A good friend will watch your pets when I go away. A best friend won't let you go away.

A good friend will go to a concert with you. A best friend will kidnap the band with you.

A good friend will hide you from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after you in the first place.

Will be gone for 1 Week

2009-02-18T03:58:00.002-05:00

Just a quick note to let all my awesome and loyal followers know that I'm headed on vacation to spend time with friends and will be gone for 1 week :) I look forward to seeing you all again soon!

Sheer Negligee and the Funeral -

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his
wife.. He is shown several possibilities that range from $25 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy ), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.

'She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'

He never heard the shot... Funeral on Thursday at Noon.

Closed coffin.

You know you live in 2009 when...

2009-02-17T11:11:00.001-05:00

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname, My Space, Facebook, or Twitter.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

Isn't laughing GRAND, enjoy the rest of your day!!!

Happy Birthday, Gizmo

2009-02-16T00:24:00.003-05:00

Thanks to Joe and his blog:
http://desertculinary.blogspot.com/2006/07/time-to-party-animal-house-is-here_23.html

I found this awesome recipe for dogs, "Pupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting."

My spoiled rotten toy poodle, "Lord (Gizmo) of Lake Hollingsworth" is 6 years old today!!!!!! So, of course, I baked something special for him. He's a very picky eater, but he loved this so wanted to continue the chain for this great recipe.

Pupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting:

Cupcake Batter:

1 granny smith apple, minced
1 1/2 cups wheat flour
1/4 cup rolled oats
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup canola oil
2 tablespoons honey
2 large eggs
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Frosting:

8 tablespoons
1/3 less fat cream cheese, softened
2 tablespoons plain yogurt
2 tablespoons honey
2-3 tablespoons whole wheat flour
1/2 cup shredded carrots

Preheat oven to 400

To make the cupcake batter:

In a large bowl, whisk flour, oatmeal, baking powder, and baking soda until combined.

In a medium bowl, whisk together yogurt, water, oil, honey and eggs. Mix in the apple and cheese. Pour into the dry ingredients and stir just until combined.

Evenly distribute the batter between 14 to 16 muffin cups lightly brushed with canola oil. Bake until the muffins spring back when lightly touched in the center - about 15-20 minutes. Remove from the oven and place pans on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Carefully remove the muffins and let cool completely.

To make the frosting:

In a medium mixing bowl, cream together cream cheese, honey and yogurt until smooth. Sprinkle in the flour, a tablespoon at a time, until it is thick and easy to spread. Top with the shredded carrots and serve as a extra special treat to your pups!

Gizmo was a runt, I love runts, the smallest one of the pack and I completely fell in love! He was weened early, so I was able to take him home at 4 weeks old, and at just 1 1/2 pounds, he fit right into my hand, he was too adorable! Now, as mentioned, he's 6 years old today, and 10 1/2 pounds.

I've attached several miscellaneous pictures of him over the years, the pirate picture being the most recent :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIZMO!

The Most Functional English Word

2009-02-15T00:04:00.002-05:00

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD:

Well, it's shit. That's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T11:06:00.000-05:00

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

2009-02-13T00:03:00.002-05:00

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-a-way.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Love In A Mental Hospital

2009-02-12T00:26:00.002-05:00

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her mentally stable.

She went to tell Edna the news: 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged. Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound judgment and that you have a sound mind.
The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Adult Classes For Men

2009-02-11T00:13:00.002-05:00

It's important to note, I love guys, I really do!!! I came across this e-mail forward today that cracked me up, so please understand, this is not male bashing, just simple fun. I hope both men AND woman enjoy this light-hearted post!!!

Note: If you know of anyone whom can benefit from any of these classes...it maybe time to re-think your relationship!

Fall Classes for Men at:

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED:

by Monday, February 16, 2009

NOTE:

DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

The Dentist

2009-02-09T19:45:00.002-05:00

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.

The girl has been watching him and says: 'You must be a dentist.'

The guy, surprised, says: 'Yes …. How did you figure that out?'

'Easy.' she replies, 'you keep washing your hands.'

One thing leads to another and they make love.

After it's over the girl says: 'You must be a good dentist.'

The guy, now with an inflated ego, says: 'Sure -

I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?'

The girl replies: 'Didn't feel a thing!

Gynecologist turned Mechanic‏

2009-02-08T23:59:00.002-05:00

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark."

"You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."

Kids In Church

2009-02-08T00:00:00.002-05:00

3-year-old Reese : 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.'

A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
One particular four-year-old prayed, 'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ' Ryan , you be Jesus !'
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?' 'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied. 'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

The Symphony

2009-02-07T10:45:00.002-05:00

I'm really excited to head to the Symphony later today with friends. It will be a tribute to Broadway and Hollywood.
It will feature many great favorites including medleys from Music Man and Summertime in the Park, plus music from the Producers, Les Miserables, Chicago, Wicked and Ragtime!

Also presenting a Hollywood Salute that includes music from Jaws, the Wizard of Oz, 2001 Space Odyssey, the Magnificent Seven, Lawrence of Arabia, Raiders of the Lost Arc, Moon River, Around the World in 80 Days, Looney Tunes, Star Trek and more!!!

Grandma's Boyfriend‏

2009-02-06T19:01:00.004-05:00

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'

Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'

The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'

The minister fainted.

A Must See

2009-02-05T23:31:00.003-05:00

This You Tube video is a MUST see, especially if you're really in the mood to watch a laugh-out-loud comedy, but just don't have the 2 hours to fit into the schedule.

Make time for this 4 minute video, you won't be sorry :)

Totally Looks Like

2009-02-05T00:01:00.002-05:00

'They' say:

"A picture's worth a thousand words."

Just for Fun

2009-02-04T00:07:00.003-05:00

Hillary Clinton Sworn In - again

2009-02-03T00:04:00.007-05:00

After President Barack Obama, it was the turn of Hillary Clinton to be sworn in as America's 67th secretary of state - for a second time.

Vice President Joe Biden administered the oath to Clinton in a ceremonial star-studded gathering at the State Department Monday, with husband, former president Bill Clinton, and former first daughter Chelsea Clinton among those on hand.

"It is an overwhelming honour ... to assume this position," Clinton said. "We have a lot of work to do (to ensure that) America's future can be even brighter than our storied past."

"In selecting Senator Clinton for this critical task, I think the president selected a person of unrivaled talent and experience," Biden said. She is "equally at ease in the great diplomatic halls of Europe as she is in the small villages in Africa."
"I thank my dear friend, Vice President Biden, and I thank President Obama for investing the trust and confidence in me during a particularly challenging time in our nation's history," she said..

"For me, this has been an amazing personal journey. As Joe laughingly referenced, neither one of us thought that we would be standing here together, doing what we are now doing together," she said apparently referring to the presidential race that both lost to Obama. "Life has a funny way of unfolding and politics is even stranger."

She also thanked her mother, daughter "and finally, to my husband". "I am so grateful to him for a lifetime of all kinds of experiences," Clinton said amidst laughter, "which have given me given me an extraordinary richness that I am absolutely beholden to and grateful for."

Hillary Clinton's official swearing-in took place Jan 21 in her former Senate office shortly after the Senate approved her nomination on a 94-2 vote. The low-key event was attended only by her husband and Senate staff.

To Spammers Everywhere

2009-02-02T00:58:00.005-05:00

While I'm not fond of the spam, I understand it's a job; and in this economy, a job that pays the bills is to be appreciated.
Since I seem to get over 100 spam emails a day, I consider myself quite knowledgeable. Here's a few suggestions for you to make your spamming more successful:

1. Emailing me the same message 40 times in one day doesn't make me read them. It's just as easy to click the button that says delete all messages as it is to delete only one. Basically, I'm telling you this so you can save some time- it must take a few seconds to repeatedly send out the same message to thousands of addresses.

2. I'm a woman. I have no desire to increase my penis size, or make my erections last longer. Please market your "goods" to the appropriate demographic. I'm sure you got that info from whatever mailing list you purchased my email address from- why not use it?

3. Sending me an email that appears to have been sent from my email address doesn't make me read it. Are you really banking on the thought that I forgot that I sent myself an email about how to make thousands of dollars working from home? First of all, I don't generally send email to myself. If I did, I'm generally going to remember doing it. So why not just put the real email address there?

4. Your newest trick- saying the email is from "Sally" regarding "Tim" (feel free to change the names to whichever ones you're using- I get a variety of them). Clever, but really- do you think we're going to fall for that? In most cases, you're not even using common names. How many Kellys have a friend named Sarota sending them emails about a guy named Jawad? I'm guessing not many. So everyone else will just delete it without opening it. And since your spam has nothing to do with Jawad, why not just be up front with what it's about? Just once, I'd like to see an email titled "yeah, it's more spam, but why not take a look?"... you know what- I would probably look at it!

5. At least try to be creative. If you've got to spam, can you at least entertain me? There's nothing worse than getting spam from "lkdjrfoweir" with a subject titled "jjkkkkkwww"... yeah- it doesn't really make me want to read it.

6. Again, I'm a woman. Not that you'd know my sexuality, but the majority of the population is heterosexual. So sending out nude photos of women isn't going to lure most of us women in. Save that for the men.

7. Titling the subject line "re:" doesn't make me think that you're responding to an email I sent you.

Bottom line, if you must inconvenience me, can you at least have the courtesy to get it right?

New in Town

2009-02-01T00:19:00.002-05:00

Go see this movie!!!
My friend and I went to the movies earlier this afternoon. We saw, "New in Town" with Renee Zellweger & Harry Connick Jr. This is a fantastic movie and would highly recommend anyone to go see it who's looking for a great romantic comedy film to just kick back, enjoy, relax, and laugh out loud.

Lucy Hill (Renée Zellweger) is an ambitious, up and coming executive living in Miami. She loves her shoes, she loves her cars and she loves climbing the corporate ladder. When she is offered a temporary assignment - in the middle of nowhere - to restructure a manufacturing plant, she jumps at the opportunity, knowing that a big promotion is close at hand. What begins as a straight forward job assignment becomes a life changing experience as Lucy discovers greater meaning in her life and most unexpectedly, the man of her dreams (Harry Connick, Jr.).

Check it out and let me know what you think!!

When Girls Drink Too Much . . .

2009-01-29T16:35:00.002-05:00

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING 'WOO-HOO!' IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S BUTT AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE 'OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!'

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE CHARDONNAY.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop ... OR THE BATHMAT ?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

~ My 100th POST ~

2009-01-27T22:15:00.001-05:00

Winter in Pennsylvania:

12 Rules for Life

2009-01-25T13:28:00.003-05:00

Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; It's on loan to us while we're here ...even our kids.

12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Favorite Quotes

2009-01-24T11:34:00.002-05:00

"There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore.. And who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

"LIFE is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

So, LOVE the people who treat you RIGHT,

FORGET about the ones who DON'T

and believe that everything HAPPENS for a REASON.

If you GET a chance, TAKE it.

If it CHANGES your life, LET it.

NOBODY said that it'd be EASY, they just PROMISED

it would be WORTH it."

These are valuable life lessons that when we become okay with, there's such a feeling of freedom. Life is really good, but when you learn how to confidently apply the above, life is awesome!

My Spontaneous Escape

2009-01-23T22:09:00.002-05:00

The Westin, Annapolis.
Although I'm not a huge fan of road trips, I started thinking around noon today, hmmm . . . I want to do something, but what? LONG story short, I was on the road by 3:30pm and am staying in the beautiful Westin, Annapolis, and might I add, they have a very decent Filet Mignon with a demi glace.

Spontaneous trips are a blast aren't they? I hope you're inspired, GO FOR IT!!!

Oh, and this is what the room looks like, has a wonderful city view, it's been a true delight.

Obama Oval Office

2009-01-22T14:16:00.003-05:00

The Obama Oval Office has already been proven to be a place of productivity. On his first day in office President Obama summoned advisers to begin dealing with war and recession and ordered new ethics rules for "a clean break from business as usual."

He also froze salaries for top White House staff members, placed phone calls to Mideast leaders and had aides circulate a draft executive order that would close the detention center at Guantanamo Bay within a year.

"The way to make government responsible is to hold it accountable," Obama said as he unveiled ethics rules that he portrayed as the fulfillment of a major campaign promise. He said the action was necessary "to help restore that faith in government without which we cannot deliver the changes we were sent here to make."

The Parrot

2009-01-21T18:30:00.003-05:00

Maryann's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, I'll leave
the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter,
and I'll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog,
Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY
circumstances, talk to my parrot!' 'I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!'

When the repairman arrived at the apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest,
meanest looking dog he has ever seen.
But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his
incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!'

To which the parrot simply replied -

"Get him Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen.

How Many More Days Until Bush Leaves Office?

2009-01-09T12:44:00.002-05:00

ELEVEN, 11, ONCE, ONZE, ELF . . . okay, so I'm not fluent in any other language but English, however you get the point!!

What an awesome and exciting day January 20, 2008 will be. GO OBAMA!!

Welcome 2009

2009-01-03T16:25:00.002-05:00

I hope all of you had an awesome New Year, thanks for your comments and well wishes on mine!

I've never been one for "New Year Resolutions" because I know myself too well, I won't follow through on them, too much pressure, so, I just try to make my own personal "Daily Resolutions" and now that my head is back in the game, it's going extremely well :)

My life remains in transition, however this is the best thing that could have happened to me. It took me quite a while to get to that point and be able to say that, but I've learned a lot of lessons in a short amount of time being back in the area where I grew up, some very surprising, some not so much, but all of them making me stronger with each passing step.

I can no longer complain, well I could, but I don't, because life is really good, and it's so good to have my head back in the game. Some transitions are like that, initially rough & challenging, but we all eventually get through them, and I have some incredible friends who stood by me through that, the good and bad, so thanks!

Anyway, just wanted the awesome loyal followers that continue to come back to know that although I'm not around as much, I still drop in from time to time!

Wishing each of you peace, health, & happiness :)

~ Merry Christmas ~

2008-12-21T22:35:00.001-05:00

May you never forget what is worth remembering.

Wishing you more happiness

Than all my words can tell,

Not just alone for Christmas

But for all the year as well.

Cheers to all Merry Christmas!!!

It's Thanksgiving Day

2008-11-27T12:24:00.001-05:00

Wishing each of you a very special Thanksgiving!

Enter At Your Own Risk

2008-11-25T18:47:00.003-05:00

Read this post at your own risk.

All viewpoints and comments will be respected, whether you are a Christian, Atheist, or something in between. I posted a 'Christianity questioned' type blog several months ago and not so shockingly there were so many bad views of Christians. Whatever you as an individual believe in, just practice what you preach, anything less is a waste of your time and a joke to everyone else.

The biggest cause of atheism today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips than deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world finds simply unbelievable.

Umm, yeah, okay, no genuine or solid educated answer there, but that's the honest to goodness answer, I've heard it countless times. lol

Thanks, 'god.' :) :)

PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA

2008-11-06T15:08:00.003-05:00

Life is What You Make of It

2008-10-30T19:01:00.008-04:00

I've re-learned some very powerful lessons recently.

The power to succeed or fail is yours alone.
You alone have the responsibility to shape your life.
Nothing and no one can deny you greatness once you understand this.

There's no one to stop you but yourself.
No one can cheat you out of ultimate success but you.

More powerful then all the success slogans ever written
is the realization that everyone has but one boss.
That boss is you.

Have I been too busy living my personal, "dream" that I've forgotten to appreciate life and enjoy the simplicities of the things right in front of me? Maybe things got too complicated, too hectic, too extravagant. Maybe that's the most important lesson learned today, so that life can move forward once again.

If tomorrow never comes -

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for more.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I would spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you",

instead of assuming, that you know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I would be there to share your day,

but I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can just let this one slip away.

For surely there's a tomorrow to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much "I love you"and hope you never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young and old alike,

and today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved ones tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day.

That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear,

tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take the time to say "I'm sorry,"please forgive me. "Thank you" or "it's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Um, It's Snowing

2008-10-29T09:49:00.002-04:00

Granted I've missed a few weather reports, okay, I haven't had the TV on for weeks, but it was the last thing I was expecting when I woke up this morning, SNOW.
I couldn't add snow pictures without incuding a ski picture for my loyal follower.

I will have to admit, the snow is really pretty. Ohh, the suns out, I wonder how long it will take to melt it, am I getting ahead of myself for the day?

Well, I'm in Pennsylvania, and that's what it does best here, snow, therefore, I will live in each and every moment, laugh, enjoy, have fun, and for now, it is what it is, and that's okay. Snow!

Can't quite build a snowman yet, but...

I may be shoveling sometime in the very near future!

History of the Jack O'Lantern

2008-10-27T14:56:00.002-04:00

The Irish brought the tradition of the Jack O'Lantern to America. But, the original Jack O'Lantern was not a pumpkin.The Jack O'Lantern legend goes back hundreds of years in Irish History. As the story goes, Stingy Jack was a miserable, old drunk who liked to play tricks on everyone: family, friends, his mother and even the Devil himself. One day, he tricked the Devil into climbing up an apple tree. Once the Devil climbed up the apple tree, Stingy Jack hurriedly placed crosses around the trunk of the tree. The Devil was then unable to get down the tree. Stingy Jack made the Devil promise him not to take his soul when he died. Once the devil promised not to take his soul, Stingy Jack removed the crosses and let the Devil down.

Many years later, when Jack finally died, he went to the pearly gates of Heaven and was told by Saint Peter that he was too mean and too cruel and had led a miserable and worthless life on earth. He was not allowed to enter heaven. He then went down to Hell and the Devil. The Devil kept his promise and would not allow him to enter Hell. Now Jack was scared and had nowhere to go but to wander about forever in the darkness between heaven and hell. He asked the Devil how he could leave as there was no light. The Devil tossed him an ember from the flames of Hell to help him light his way. Jack placed the ember in a hollowed out Turnip, one of his favorite foods which he always carried around with him whenever he could steal one. For that day onward, Stingy Jack roamed the earth without a resting place, lighting his way as he went with his "Jack O'Lantern".

On all Hallow's eve, the Irish hollowed out Turnips, rutabagas, gourds, potatoes and beets. They placed a light in them to ward off evil spirits and keep Stingy Jack away. These were the original Jack O'Lanterns. In the 1800's a couple of waves of Irish immigrants came to America. The Irish immigrants quickly discovered that Pumpkins were bigger and easier to carve out. So they used pumpkins for Jack O'Lanterns.

Tagged

2008-10-21T12:26:00.007-04:00

Tagged by Working Mom: http://workingmomtellsall.blogspot.com/

The rules are to answer the following questions in one word and then pass it on to seven others:
**Okay, so I didn't stick to the one word rule on everything, oops...

Where is your cell phone? Desk
Where is your significant other? LOL
Your hair color? Brown
Your mother? Don't go there
Your father? Good question
Your favorite thing? Florida
Your dream last night? Strange
Your dream/goal? Florida
The room you’re in? Claustrophobic
Your hobby? Depends
Your fear? Stagnation
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Beach
Where were you last night? Pennsylvania
What you’re not? Serious
One of your wish-list items? Mercedes
Where you grew up? Adamsville
Last thing you did? Made bread in the breadmaker
What are you wearing? Sweater
Your TV? Off
Your pet? Poodle
Your computer? Annoying
Your mood? Pissy
Missing someone? Yes
Your car? Mazda
Something you’re not wearing? Shorts
Favorite store? Neiman Marcus
Your summer? Awesome
Love someone? Ok
Your favorite color? White
When is the last time you laughed? Sunday
Last time you cried? Monday

Passing it on to:

The Savvy Cyber Mama
Steph
Matter of Fact Mommy
Amanda
Tabitha
Kim-D
Tranny Head

As I Mature

2008-09-21T23:54:00.002-04:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they

panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

August 25th-28th 2008, Denver, Colorado

2008-08-25T00:29:00.002-04:00

The 2008 Convention:

Americans Gathering To Change The Course Of A Nation

Program Schedule:

Monday, August 25 – One Nation

Monday’s headline prime-time speaker will be Michelle Obama.

Tuesday, August 26 – Renewing America’s Promise.

Senator Hillary Clinton will be the headline prime-time speaker.

Wednesday, August 27 – Securing America’s Future.

The headline prime-time speaker on Wednesday will be Barack Obama’s Vice Presidential Nominee, Joe Biden. Also featuring President Bill Clinton.

Thursday, August 28 – Change You Can Believe In.

On Thursday night, the DNCC will throw open the doors of the Convention and move to INVESCO Field at Mile High so that more Americans can be a part of the fourth night of the Convention as Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination. Obama will communicate the urgency of the moment, highlight the struggles Americans are facing and call on Americans to come together to change the course of our nation.

Dems give Michigan and Florida full voting rights

2008-08-24T15:14:00.001-04:00

DENVER (AP) — Delegates from Michigan and Florida will have full voting rights at the national convention this week, despite violating party rules by holding early primaries.

The convention credentials committee voted Sunday to restore full voting rights, at the behest of Barack Obama. The two states had initially been stripped of all their delegates for holding primaries before Feb. 5. The party's rules committee restored the delegates in May, but gave them only half votes.

Democrats hope that Sunday's gesture will strengthen their standing in two important battleground states.

Election 2008

2008-08-23T18:06:00.002-04:00

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

The Pope and the Rabbi

2008-08-22T11:50:00.003-04:00

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged, wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten, saying the rabbi was far too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins, and the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," said the rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he told me the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him we were staying right here.

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."

The Latest Computer Upgrades

2008-08-21T13:32:00.000-04:00

The Affairs

2008-08-20T17:35:00.002-04:00

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said:
'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but
always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
'No, not this time!'

The 3rd Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

The Hormone Guide

2008-08-17T12:42:00.003-04:00

Women will understand this and the men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

...and my favorite one:

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Quiz

2008-08-13T18:37:00.002-04:00

1.How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullf ighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Betwee n a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang, Whack!

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

New Office Policy and Cubicle Construction

2008-08-07T13:48:00.002-04:00

EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 2, 2008

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

Be You

2008-08-05T13:29:00.002-04:00

You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to live someone else's life.

Every day you make some progress and every day you make a few mistakes.

Through it all, your wisdom continues to grow and your experience continues to broaden.

Be gentle with yourself. Accept who you are, where you have been, and what you have to work with, for in this moment you can make positive use of it all.

Reach in and touch the purpose that makes you feel most alive. The world around you is filled with places where that purpose can do great things.

It is never too late to offer your unique and genuine gifts to life. Now is the time to do great things, even in the smallest of ways.

Choose to fully and graciously live life as it comes. The richest rewards by far are the ones to which you most sincerely give of yourself.

-- Ralph Marston

Lawyers

2008-08-02T10:49:00.004-04:00

Before people think I'm beating up on lawyers, here are a couple of facts:

One of my closest friends, a lawyer, sent the below excerpts to me.

Secondly, all the below stories are true, factual, and actually happened.

Enjoy!

A book called, "Disorder in the Court," are things people have actually said in court, word for word , taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reebok's. _______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?_______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. _______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? __________________________________ _____________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty. _______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? _______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid! ________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? _______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess. _______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? _______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
_______________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

How Many Zero's in a Billion?

2008-07-31T11:47:00.002-04:00

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got!"

This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ...
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu
is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
to rebuild New Orleans.

Interesting number...
what does it mean?

Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child)
you each get $516,528.

Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

Or... if you are a family of four....
your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C: HELLO! Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax Corporat e Income Tax Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Permit TaxGasoline Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax) IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Tax Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service charge taxes Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax (Truckers) Sales Taxes Recreational Vehicle TaxSchool Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone Federal Excise Tax Telephone Federal U nivers al Service Fee Tax Telephone F ederal, State and Local Surcharge Tax Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge TaxTelephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax Utility Tax Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft Registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened?

Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to press '1' for English.

What the heck happened???

MAMMA MIA!

2008-07-27T21:13:00.003-04:00

Meryl Streep was oscar-awesome in this musical comedy. I have to buy this DVD for my collection as soon as it comes out, this is a MUST SEE!
In the film, Meryl Streep plays a woman whose daughter is about to be married. The daughter, without informing her mother, invites three of her potential fathers to her wedding. The fun-filled storyline that follows is told through Abba songs that deliver a home run every time.

The Coping Diet

2008-07-22T13:04:00.003-04:00

Only girlfriends can understand this one. This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.

Breakfast:

1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch:

1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Snack:

The rest of the Hershey kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner:

4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack:

1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

101 Simple Ways to Brighten Someone's Day

2008-07-18T13:02:00.002-04:00

Call a friend, just to say hi.
Hold a door open for a stranger.
Invite someone to lunch.
Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.
Bring cookies to work.
Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.
Tell a cashier to have a nice day.
Call your parents.
Let someone know you miss them.
Treat someone to a movie.
Let a person know you really appreciate them.
Visit a retirement center.
Take a child to the zoo.
Fill up your spouse's car with gas.
Surprise someone with a small gift or card.
Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.
Write a letter to a distant relative.
Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.
Bake a cake for a neighbor.
Send someone flowers to where they work.
Invite a friend for a drink.
Recommend a good book to someone.
Donate clothing to a charity.
Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.
Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.
Give blood.
Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who's really busy or just needs a break.
Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.
Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.
Help someone with a heavy load.
Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.
Give your place in line at the grocery store to someone who has only a few items.
Hug someone in your family for no reason.
Wave to a child in the car next to you.
Send a thank-you note to your doctor.
Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.
Be a mentor or coach to someone.
Forgive a loan.
Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it.
Tell someone you believe in them.
Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.
Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.
Ask someone if they need you to pick up anything while you're out shopping.
Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.
Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.
During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.
Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.
Compliment someone on their cooking and politely ask for a second helping.
Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.
Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.
Give children's clothes to another family when your kids outgrow them.
Deliver extra vegetables from your garden to the whole neighborhood.
Call your someone just to say, I love you.
Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
Invite someone to go bowling.
Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days, and surprise them with a cake.
Ask someone about their children.
Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.
Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.
Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.
Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.
Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.
Ask an older person for their advice.
Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.
Tell a child you're proud of them.
Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.
Join a Big Brother or Sister program.
Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.
Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.
Give someone a recording of their favorite music.
Email a friend some information about a topic they are especially interested in.
Give someone a homemade gift.
Write a poem for someone.
Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department.
Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.
Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.
Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.
Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.
Personally welcome a new employee at work and offer to take them out for lunch.
While in a car, ask everyone to buckle up because they are important to you.
Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.
Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.
Forgive someone when they apologize.
Wave to someone looking for a parking space when you're about to leave a shopping center.
Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.
Do a household chore that is usually done by someone else in the family.
Be especially happy for someone when they tell you their good news.
Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.
Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.
Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.
Ask someone if they've lost weight.
Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.
Take a child to a ballgame.
Smile at a friend, hug them, and tell them you love them.

Love this ;)

2008-07-15T02:00:00.002-04:00

Maxine Tuesday - Perfect Guy

2008-07-08T15:42:00.002-04:00

It's a Miracle!!!

2008-07-05T12:21:00.008-04:00

This is a picture of a Brown Recluse Spider. I found and killed a Brown Recluse in my shower, very likely the one that bit me.

After dealing with this since the beginning of April and spending a week in the hospital, the doctor's originally told me the healing process could be up to 6 or even 8 months, but that process would be delayed if I didn't have surgery. I kept refusing surgery and boy am I glad I did!

Thank-you for your continued concerns into this healing process, your thoughts have been appreciated. I'm DELIGHTED to report, the, "Brown Recluse First Aid Kit" is a MIRACLE! I started using the kit a week ago today and the progress it has made in just a week after dealing with this since April 2nd has been SHOCKING and AWESOME! (Surgery was inevitable for me as the bite area continued to grow at alarming pace, even after 3 months and was getting re-infected. BUT, no surgery needed now.)
If you know anyone who has been bitten or suspected of being bitten by a Brown Recluse, I promise you, you won't regret this purchase. This First Aid Kit has literally saved people's lives and limbs and in my personal situation, saved me from a two-part surgery (skin biopsy & debreeding the area.)
Everyone in states where Brown Recluses are heavily populated, save this web site to your favorites: www.brown-recluse.com

I've learned that pesticide applications can actually be detrimental because studies show that Brown Recluse spiders will prefer dead insects over living ones, and pesticides do not kill the Brown Recluse.

Even though I killed the spider that made my life hell for more than 3 months, just in case, I also ordered traps.....no more spiders in this household!

"While Brown Recluse spider infestations are thought by many to be impossible to eliminate, research at the University of Kansas has shown that "effective population management is possible" with Catchmaster glue traps."

I told my friend who found this web site and first aid kit for me that I either owed her my leg or my life or maybe both :)

Pass this information to anyone and everyone you know, I am.

www.brown-recluse.com

1-(888)-RECLUSE or (417) 261-2059

Previous post/Brown Recluse:

http://kareerwoman.blogspot.com/2008/06/brown-recluse-spider-bite-update.html

http://kareerwoman.blogspot.com/2008/06/bad-luck.html

Happy 4th of July!

2008-07-04T01:17:00.004-04:00

On July 4, 1776, we claimed our independence from Britain and Democracy was born. Every day thousands leave their homeland to come to the "land of the free and the home of the brave" so they can begin their American Dream.

The United States is truly a diverse nation made up of dynamic people. Each year on July 4, Americans celebrate that freedom and independence with barbecues, picnics, and family gatherings. Through the Internet we are learning about and communicating with people of different nations, with different languages and different races throughout the world. Bringing the world closer with understanding and knowledge can only benefit all nations.

We invite all nations to celebrate with Americans online this Fourth of July.

Happy Birthday, America!

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands. One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Maxine Tuesday - Hectic Pace of Life

2008-07-01T08:16:00.001-04:00

Brown Recluse Spider Bite Update

2008-06-28T13:35:00.008-04:00

Several of you have continued to ask through comments on past posts how my Brown Recluse Spider Bite is, thank-you for your continued thoughts and concern. So, here's the update:

Well, I was bit April 2nd and as of this morning, the bite area on my leg has progressed and has continued to get larger. Overall, the area is worse, not healing and even though I've been on antibiotics since April, an infection is also starting to come back.

A good friend of mine actually found this web site so I went to http://www.brown-recluse.com/ and ordered the Brown Recluse Double First Aid Kit. The ingredients of this kit is "supposed" to get right to the root of the problem.

The root cause of the symptoms in a Brown Recluse bite is the venom. It is the venom that kills the cells. Drawing out the venom is the most important factor for starting the healing process and this is exactly what the Brown Recluse First Aid kit is "supposed" to do.

The Brown Recluse First Aid Kit has 2 components. The all natural Advanced Adsorb Powder is combined with The Brown Recluse Solution, a unique herbal solution, to produce a paste.
This paste has a molecular attraction to the venom.

When the paste is applied to the bite wound, it works to draw out the venom and relieve the pain so that your body can heal itself.

Any additional information or miracle remedies on Brown Recluse Spider bites and how to heal them, I'm ALL EARS :)

I was willing to try anything so here goes nothin! I am to re-apply every 2 hours. If this doesn't work, the only other option is surgery and from what I'm told, a painful surgery, so keep your fingers crossed for me :)

Welcome to Your Private Island Getaway

2008-06-27T12:49:00.003-04:00

Time for some serious rest & relaxation.
It's a virtual vacation.
Welcome to Your Private Island Getaway.

Wednesday

2008-06-25T11:48:00.000-04:00

Kareer Woman

NOVA ERA - "Classical Music with a Groove"

Is it Hot in Here?!

Turn on 911 Locator on cell...

Yeah, it's a Monday

Maxine

LOL

Peanut Butter Bon Bons

Happy Thanksgiving

Life Boils Down to Two Questions:

The Difference Between STRENGTH and COURAGE

My Life

Disney World's Glowtini Recipe/Coco Cabana Cocktail Recipe

IMPORTANT!

Sliders with Chipotle Mayonnaise

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

English is a Difficult Language

The Zen of Sarcasm

HR Lingo Decoder

Dog Logic

Cities with the most single men and women

Ways To Annoy People Next To You On A Flight

Top 10 Things Men Know About Women

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND ...

Office Jokes

A Very Puzzled Blonde

LOL :)

To be CRAZY or not CRAZY that is the Question - lol

Up for a Good Laugh?

She's '40!'

Value Already Yours

Priceless Friendships

It's Friday!

Male & Female Prayers

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

It's a Maxine Day

God Loves Blondes Too

Divorce Vs. Murder

The Christmas Party

A Good Friend or a Best Friend!

Will be gone for 1 Week

You know you live in 2009 when...

Happy Birthday, Gizmo

The Most Functional English Word

Happy Valentine's Day

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

Love In A Mental Hospital

Adult Classes For Men

The Dentist

Gynecologist turned Mechanic‏

Kids In Church

The Symphony

Grandma's Boyfriend‏

A Must See

Totally Looks Like

Just for Fun

Hillary Clinton Sworn In - again

To Spammers Everywhere

New in Town

When Girls Drink Too Much . . .

~~~ My 100th POST ~~~

12 Rules for Life

Favorite Quotes

My Spontaneous Escape

Obama Oval Office

The Parrot

How Many More Days Until Bush Leaves Office?

Welcome 2009

~ Merry Christmas ~

It's Thanksgiving Day

Enter At Your Own Risk

PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA

Life is What You Make of It

Um, It's Snowing

History of the Jack O'Lantern

Tagged

As I Mature

August 25th-28th 2008, Denver, Colorado

Dems give Michigan and Florida full voting rights

~ My 100th POST ~